Apples and Oranges — November 11th, 2006

Ostensibly, Wisconsin’s roughly 2,000,000 deer are extremely important to the state (1).  The laws enacted to protect them are amazing.  For example, did you know that if you illegally bait deer with something incredibly dangerous—say, like, a pile of Granny Smith apples—that you can be fined up to $2,138, lose your hunting and fishing privileges for 3 years, and lose your vehicle (2)?  It’s true.  And, this is for your first offense.  I’m not shitting you.

All by its lonesome self, this penalty seems amazing to me.  But, its true scale can only be appreciated by means of comparison.  Therefore, we shall now take a peek at how Wisconsin protects its 5,536,201 human residents from drunk drivers (3).

For a first drunk driving offense in Wisconsin, if your lawyer sucks, you might receive a $650~$900 fine, lose your driving privileges for 6 to 9 months, and be forced to take a driving safety class (4).  Of course, Wisconsin will still let you drive to work and back (4).

For a second drunk driving offense in Wisconsin, if your lawyer sucks, you might receive a $900~$2,000 fine, serve 5 days to 6 months in jail, lose your driving privileges for 12 to 18 months, and be forced to take a driving safety class, but only if it’s within 10 years since your last offense (4).  And, after 30 days, Wisconsin will let you drive to work and back (4).

For a third drunk driving offense in Wisconsin, if your lawyer sucks, you might receive a $1,200~$3,400 fine, serve 30 days to 1 year in jail, and lose your driving privileges for 24 to 36 months (4).  And, if your lawyer really sucks, the court will put special devices on your car to assess your ability to drive—though you shouldn’t be anyway (4).  If your lawyer really really sucks, after three offenses, Wisconsin will finally take your car away (4).  But, somehow, miraculously, after 90 days, Wisconsin will let you drive to work and back (4).

Does this confound you a little?  It spins my wheels, I’ll have you know.

To put drunk driving into perspective, DWI fatalities outnumber murders in Wisconsin, almost 2 to 1 in 2003 (5)(6).  Chew on that for a moment, then answer me this: If people make laws, why do our laws protect deer better than they protect people?

~ topher

 

References:

1. Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources.  (2006).  Deer population goals.  Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources.  Retrieved November 11, 2006 from http://dnr.state.wi.us

2. Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources.  (2006).  2006 Wisconsin deer hunting regulations.  Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources.

3. United States Census Bureau.  (2006).  Wisconsin—state and county quick facts, 2000 Census.  United States Census Bureau.  Retrieved November 11, 2006 from http://quickfacts.census.gov

4. Mishlove, A.  (2006).  Wisconsin DUI/OWI penalties, occupational license information, and sentencing guidelines by county.  The Law Offices of Andrew Mishlove.  Retrieved November 11, 2006 from http://www.excellentlawyer.com

5. Wisconsin Department of Transportation / Department of Motor Vehicles.  (2003).  2003 Wisconsin alcohol traffic facts.  Wisconsin Department of Transportation / Department of Motor Vehicles.

6. Disaster Center.  (2006).  Wisconsin crime rates 1960—2005.  Disaster Center.  Retrieved November 11, 2006 from http://www.disastercenter.com