Very — April, 2004
Today, topher would like to discuss the word 'very'. Very is a terrible word, and I'd like to take just a moment to explain why.
We've become lazy in our use of the English language, and 'very' is the embodiment of this laziness. No longer do we carefully choose our words to accurately describe our sentiments. Rather, we lazily attach the word 'very' to a mundane adjective or adverb and assume that we are getting our point across. However, the word 'very' has become diluted. It means nothing anymore. It is dead.
Point in case: If you were relying on a friend to describe you to a potential employer, would you prefer that said friend describe you as 'very reliable' or that said friend describe you as someone whose 'dedication and resourcefulness will lend value' to your prospective employer?
Another point in case: Daily we encounter things that are new, interesting, and exciting to us. How often do we describe these things to our contemporaries by saying things akin to, "it was very unique."? Far too often, I assure you. For, unique is an absolute adjective. It has no shades. It is black. Something is either unique, or it isn't unique. It is one of a kind, or it is one of many. So, we must stop using 'very' in an attempt to create comparative and superlative forms of things that, by their very nature, are absolute.
It may be cute to say that a friend is 'very pregnant'. It is more correct, however, to say that she is far along in her pregnancy. This may seem snobby or elitist, but nevertheless, we must take pride in our communication and our language.
I paraphrase William K. Zinsser, author of "On Writing Well" - Whenever you wish to use the word 'very' in your writing, substitute the word 'shit'. Your editor will obviously remove each instance of the word 'shit' and your writing will then be as it should.
Our language does change; it has an ebb and a flow. Embrace this change. There was a time when ending a sentence in a preposition was considered taboo. Winston Churchill succinctly expressed his exhaustion with this when he said, "This is the sort of English up with which I will not put." Today, it is less nefarious an offense to end a sentence with a preposition. However, we should not be ready to accept a weak, benign, ambiguous, and boring word into our language as the be all, end all intensifier of otherwise forgettable thought. I admonish, of course, the word 'very'. Take ownership of your adjectives and adverbs. Please.
It is very important.
~ topher